Not All Bad
by Alkuna
Summary: After going through the Neopian Times, I was inspired by the picture of Sloth with a Lupe plushie in his hands. I couldn't help but write this spoof. Not to be taken TOO seriously.


Not All Bad

Disclaimer: I don't own the Neopets site. :p

Alkuna the cloud lupe woke up with a yawn at 4 am NST and rolled out of bed. Her family would have said she was out of her mind to get up this early but she insisted that she found a few interesting things at odd hours of the day.

She padded quietly out of bed and headed out to the launch pad for a trip to the Virtupets Station. After nosing about in the nearly deserted corridors, she found a repair shaft hidden behind a grate. Upon climbing the ladder she hear the familiar growling of none other than Sloth himself. She glanced at her watch. 5 AM NST.

Sloth was hunched over a table, mumbling into a cup of ordinary coffee. She had to hide a laugh. Sloth wasn't even dressed yet. He had on a fluffy bathrobe, complete with bright pink Cybunny slippers.

"Turn then all into mutants..." He mumbled drowsily, starting to slump into his cup, "Ev'ry lass...one..."splash! "I-I-I-'m awake! Grrr..." He shook his head and wiped his face off. "Nobody saw that!" He bellowed to the empty room, "I'd be ruined... Even I have a reputation to keep you know..." He stumbled over to the coffee maker and poured himself a fresh cup, mumbling about triple strength.

He sat down again and sighed, staring at a rather mangled looking lupe plushie sitting on the table in front of him. He gave it a careful pat on its worn head, "Things just aren't working for me Fangley," he said to the plushie, "These blasted Neopians foil my plans at every turn. Even you don't look as handsome as you used to. You're falling apart... just like my plans..."

Sloth sighed to himself and put the plushie in a carefully hidden panel behind a few self-help books and walked out of the room.

Very quietly Alkuna slipped into Sloth's quarters and looked at the titles, grinning. Boy they had books for everything. "Greed," "Evil Overlords: The Easy How-To Book," "Lair Magazine: Turn Any Happy Home Into An Evil Hideout," and finally, "Heroes And Heroines: How To Defeat Effectively."

Alkuna carefully pushed the books aside and took the little plushie out of its hiding place. One eye was falling out, an ear was ragged, the stuffing had almost totally come out of its front leg, the seams were coming apart and its little stitched mouth was coming undone.

Now Alkuna was the mother of two very rambunctious pups, though now in their teen years they were well behaved... finally. But she had plenty of experience repairing "wounded" toys, and could even bring a mangled Chia toy back to almost new condition.

She took the plushie home and carefully began repairing it. Finally satisfied, she studied it in the dimming light. The fur was still pretty worn but there was nothing she could do about that without thoroughly replacing the cover. With that she snuck back to Sloth's lair and replaced the plushie. She was just getting the books back into place when she heard the lift returning to the floor. Sloth was back! There wasn't time to hide back in the shaft, so she dove behind a couch and waited silently.

In a thoroughly bad mood from screaming at his incompetent mutant Grundos, who had totally botched his new Mutating machine, Sloth banged into his lair and paced for a while, growling to himself.

Finally, with a sigh he went to his hidden panel to retrieve his comforting plushie. Sloth stared at the repaired plushie for a long time, carefully feeling the re-stuffed leg and the tightened seams.

"Fangley... who's been in my lair?" Sloth whirled around and searched from one end of the room to the other, somehow missing Alkuna. "Well?" He demanded finally.

He touched a recording device and listened to the footsteps and the sounds of Alkuna moving around. "Hmm. Whoever it was didn't say anything...Blast it!"

He sat down and inspected Fangley one more time, "Not bad...He's almost as good as new right now. Whoever did it... hmmm."

Alkuna slowly slunk out of her hiding place. Might as well face the music. "I repaired your plushie Sloth."

Sloth whirled around and stared at the lupe. "You?!" He considered mutating her into a Chia, then changed his mind when he saw her battle scarred body and the savage looking claw marks that marred her muzzle. Mutating her would be sort of redundant. Slowly he nodded his head, "Not a bad job Neopet," he growled finally, the closest he could get to a thank you.

"Glad I can be of service," she growled back, meeting his eyes squarely.

"Not afraid of me?" Sloth stood up, towering over the lupe.

"Nope. Faced you before. Or at least, one of your robot clones." She rubbed an aching shoulder, where she had sprained several muscles while being thrown through a wooden crate by the machine. She sniffed, offering him an ironic smirk. "Nothing else you can do to me." She waved a paw dismissively, "No matter now. I did what I intended to do and more."

She started for the repair shaft and paused, reaching back into her hiding place, "Oh yeah... This was poking me in the ribs. Put it in a better place huh?" She slid a nasty looking hand weapon across the floor to Sloth's feet.

"My Mutation gun!" Sloth cried, almost happily, "I've been looking for that for months!"

"You're welcome," she snorted, and pawed open the grate. She climbed in and was replacing it when Sloth called out, "Hey Lupe! ...Thank you for repairing Fangley...just... don't tell anyone."

He heard a chuckle from the shaft as she started climbing down, "My word of honor on it."

"...and lupe...?"

"Yeah?"

"Go to the Infirmary on Sub Level B. Tell the Grundo there that Sloth commands a full scale healing for yourself." Sloth's rough voice softened slightly at this instruction, but now he cleared his throat and growled dangerously, "It's my job to mutate others. I don't need somebody else walking around like a home made mutant kit."

Sloth would never admit it, but he kind of liked the gruff, fearless Lupe. She had never once insulted or blamed him while she had been there. Now if all the fluffy, cute, disgustingly sweet NeoPets were like that lupe, he wouldn't mind so much. Hmmm. That wasn't a bad idea....

He considered ordering that the repair shaft be sealed, then reconsidered. His Cybunny slippers were looking a little ragged. He could still use her gruff services.

Sloth picked up his repaired plushie and hugged it, patting its head. Well, he could say thank you to the Lupe by delaying his plans to take over for a few months.

Alkuna stepped out of the infirmary, feeling so much better. Her fur almost sparkled, now that her scars had been healed.

Arriving home she was enthusiastically received by her family. When they asked her what happened, she told them of a horrifying battle with Sloth's minions, of a long harsh battle to foil the evil overlord's plans and her narrow escape, ending with the Water faerie healing all her battle wounds.

Inside, Alkuna smiled. For all of Sloth's attempts to take over Neopia, she decided, Sloth was not all bad.

The End.


End file.
